Coping With the Holidays

By Barb Lamperski, LSW

Grieving the death of a loved one can be even more difficult during the holiday season. There is the expectation of joy and happiness when you are feeling sadness and loss.  Here are some strategies that may help you cope with the holidays during your first year of grief.

Plan ahead

Talk with family and friends about how your needs and your ability to participate may be different this year.  You may feel like being around less people, or may feel like you will need time to yourself.  For example, drive yourself to a social gathering so you can leave early if you need to.  If you are going out of town, arrange for your own hotel room so that you can have a place to rest, away from the activity.

Ask for help

This may be a year for you to ask others to help with the responsibilities and chores.  It may also be a time to ask friends or family to take on a meaningful role that your loved one had always taken on.  For example, ask a younger member of the family to carve the turkey or decorate the house.

Choose meaningful traditions

You may want to focus on the activities that hold the most meaning to you.  It may be a year when you do less of the shopping, cooking and decorating and more of the activities that give you peace and comfort.  Some people find that helping others can be very healing. Or, you may want to reserve time and energy to reflect on the memories of your loved one.

Take care of your physical and emotional needs

Eat healthy, get enough sleep and make time for fresh air and exercise in order to maintain your own sense of well being. It’s important to nurture your own body and spirit during this time of year when we are busy thinking of others.

Do what works for you

Remember that you may find comfort in the traditions that you have enjoyed in the past, but if doing things differently will make it easier, it is okay.  You can always return to your more traditional activities next year when it is less painful.

If you feel that support from our bereavement department would be helpful,  please call us at 303-674-6400 or email blamperski@mtevans.org.